First Step in Divorce: Choosing A Divorce Attorney

This is the first part in a multi-part series on the divorce process called Divorce 101.

The first step in the consted divorce process is choosing the right attorney for you.  This is true whether you are filing first for divorce or if you have been served a divorce summons.  You might be thinking of saving the expense of an attorney and going it alone but let me warn you: if in reality your situation isn’t as “simple” as you think you might spend more in the long-run hiring an attorney to help correct the original mistakes.  At the very least I would suggest contacting a divorce or family law attorney and taking advantage of a free consultation.  I have had many instances where people were very grateful after talking with me that they didn’t go it alone.  (To be fair, I have also happily counseled people to seek an uncontested divorce on their own because their individual situation warranted the simplicity.)

Tips on Choosing a Divorce Attorney

1.  Ask your family and friends for referrals.  If you have already told those around you that you are thinking about or preparing for divorce, you might want to ask them if they know of any attorneys.  Those who have already gone through the divorce process would be the best to ask because they can speak from personal experience.

2.  Search the web.  Those attorneys that are willing to share their experience and expertise online are generally the same way in person.  Translation: he or she isn’t in the business of racking up unnecessary billable hours.  The Internet offers a tremendous amount of information that can help you prepare and make informed decisions in your contested divorce.  I like meeting with clients that have done some research because I know they will be engaged in the process which in the end helps save the client time and money.

3.  Interview at least three attorneys.  Believe it or not when I have a potential client call me in what I call the “inquiry phase” of divorce — they know that divorce is the next step and are in the process of preparing to take the divorce step — I often recommend that he or she interviews a few other attorneys to see what they are saying and suggesting.  Much like a doctor’s initial diagnosis, a second opinion is wise.

4.  BE COMFORTABLE!  While this is tip #4 it should probably be #1.  A divorce is emotional, it is draining.  You need an divorce attorney that is a guide and will help you feel comfortable.  You want to feel like your divorce attorney is in your corner.  You definitely do not want to be battling your soon-to-be-former-spouse and your divorce attorney.  If you don’t feel right in the initial meeting, move on.

The Initial Meeting With Your Potential Divorce Attorney

After you set a meeting with your potential divorce attorney start writing down your questions.  Come prepared with a laundry list of thoughts and issues so you can make the most out of the meeting.  This also assists the attorney in giving more focused thoughts.  While many divorces start to seem the same, the reality is that each situation is unique so you want the potential divorce attorney addressing your situation and not one like yours.

Finally, be prepared to talk fees.  Don’t leave the initial meeting without discussing such things as whether the attorney charges by the hour or offers flat-fee or value billing.  Also, discuss whether the attorney charges a retainer and if so how much.  Money isn’t always fun to talk about but leaving the meeting without any idea of the cost will be far more stressful than leaving with an idea of how much the divorce process might cost.